Today I went to the hospital to get my yearly for-visa physical. It's always a hassle and this year was no exception. The clinic (hospital is a bit formal) only sees patients - foreign passport holders wanting residence in China and Chinese holders seeking visas to go abroad - from 8 - 10:30am. Crowded is an understatment.
9:28 - I arrive by taxi to long lines in the lobby. A nurse directs me to the 4th floor, where foriegners are handled. The line actually begins on the stairs of 2nd floor. I wait.
9:45 - I can see the 4th floor, and a nice Aussie woman saves my spot so I can grab a medical form and fill it out.
9:55 - I'm on the 4th floor. Only 14 people separate me from from the first clinic office. They told me not to eat before the test, so I skipped breakfast. Hunger sets in.
10:10 - Inside the clinic office now. It's more like a waiting room with the queue snaking around the walls. At least there are chairs to sit on. Tables to fill out forms are in the middle and one long table with computers posts up on the left wall. Here, 3 clerks assign everyone a sheet of labels to code our samples and to enter us into the computer network.
10:15 - Finally sitting down. Still 14 people to go before I actually make progress on my application. To the Aussie woman, I offer my condolences over her loss: Steve Irwin, Croc Hunter, dead at 44. I break it to her gently. Is that a tear? Wait, no, dust blown in through the open window got her eye. Clinics are clean here... right?
10:20 - Pounding at her keyboard and instructing me to look into the webcam, a nurse enters my information into her computer. She gives me 8 stickers with my name & serial number.
10:22 - Elapsed time with nurse: 2 min. Back in line. Standing. Now I pay for the services I haven't recieved yet. In China, you often pay for things and then get what you paid for. NOT like in the States where you recieve services and pay for what you get. Slight difference, but it's a big one...
10:30 - I've paid $43.45 for the service and have a reciept to prove it! Back in another line. Time spent with clerk: 1 min. Hunger = pain. Pain = frustration.
10:33 - See a hot Russian girl. Song, "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me" gets stuck in my head. I wish I had a girlfriend, and that she was hot, like the Russian girl. She sees I'm wearing my CCCP zip jacket. She smiles. Wait! She's got a sister, too! Wait! She's also got a really tall (bigger than me) boyfriend with her. Deuce!
10:40 - Still in line. Still have "hot like me..." repeating in my head. Her boyfriend would crush me. At least I'm already at the hospital.
10:45 - A nurse realizes that the lines are too long. Ya think?!? Pulling 14 of us aside, she directs us to parts 2,3,4 of the check-up. Things move quickly now.
10:50 - ECG. Four suction cups are strapped to my chest, looking at my guts and monitoring pulse. Know what she WON'T find in there? Food. I'm starving.
10:55 - At the general health room. Questionarre would be a better word for it than 'check up.' A doctor asks me if my vision is ok, what my height and weight are. He checks my blood pressure and my heart rate. He smiles and I'm done.
11:00 - The X Ray machine is like a bad ride at the MN State Fair. Standing on a platform, the nurse pulls a lead apron over my waist and fastens it to the otherside like a restraining belt. Whurring, the machine moves up and down and side to side pausing at each point for a quick 'click.' Thank you. I'm done!
11:05 - Back in line. Now I've got to turn the form in to the main office along with a photo. There are 14 people in front of me. A different group than before.
11:26 - I'm all done... well mostly. The results will take 2 days to process, so I've got to return back then. Next time, I'm bringing a breakfast AND lunch with me.
Being that this is the only clinic in Beijing to do this kind of work, you'd think they'd try to streamline the process. Unfortunatly, I didn't see a comment box. Then again, don't believe I've seen one anywhere in China...
Sorry if this long tale of bueracracy bored you. If it did, then perhaps my point was made. In all, the ordeal took me 2 hours - only about 15 of which was actually spent with a 'professional'. Next time you visit the doctor's office, while you sit in a clean room listening to Kenny G and reading Golfer's Digest, please think of me... and just how lucky you are.
peace. paul.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
glad to see you're back blogging, paul. i could feel the pain of your hospital fiasco . . . good to know that communism hasn't stopped china from creating good, old-fashioned beuarocratic systems. wait, you saw a russian in line? how ironic.
Post a Comment